826 DAYS UNTIL THE WEDDING
I reintroduced fish into my diet this week. Instead of munching on Veggie Tales, I dished up some Nemo and Sebastian (or halibut and tuna steaks - all we could afford this week). To be quite honest, I thought that there was going to be some huge emotional outburst when I tore into that halibut earlier this week. But thanks to my limited culinary skills, I overcooked the fish, burned the sauce, forgot to make rice, and essentially murdered Wednesday's dinner and Thursday's lunch. Yay, me.
But the tuna steaks were amazing (mostly because I begrudgingly ceded control of the kitchen to Holls). And I thought that after two weeks of intense diet and exercise, I had earned the right to eat a dead thing.
However, I wasn't totally comfortable with it. See, once I allow myself a little wiggle room, that's usually game over for me. I get spoiled, I get lazy, and before I realize it, I'm riding the Gravy Train back to Peanut Butter Jelly Time. I was afraid that once I allowed myself to eat more diverse foods that I would start slipping back into old habits, even if the whole thing were kick-started by something as simple as burnt halibut.
I was only half-right.
I've been very hard on myself not to stray from my diet AT ALL. I allowed myself a break that first week in the form of a brownie and a little ice cream, but I thought that if I only rewarded myself at the end of a week of hard work and strict dieting, that I would be ok.
Well, last night I had one lick of ice cream. Just one. It was mocha chip. And I almost swallowed the whole thing in one foul swoop. That's how good it was. And after my initial glass of milk on Monday, I had one or two more throughout the week, which wasn't the end of the world, but still. And tonight came the grand daddy of un-nutritious treats: I ate 9 ginger snaps in about 5 minutes. This week in particular, I've felt a little pressure from a bunch of people to cave on my diet a little bit. None of this was done maliciously. I think it has more to do with the mindset of, "I'm eating. You're not. I'm enjoying myself. You must not be. Want something to eat?" I totally understand that. At work tonight, one of my co-workers had a bag of ginger snaps that he placed beside me and offered me some. I initially refused, mostly because I hadn't eaten my dinner yet (see, I learned something from my momma!). After I had polished off Holls' delicious homemade mac and cheese, I found I really hadn't packed much M&C for myself, and that I should probably up my calorie intake for this one meal.
(eyes slowly stray over to open bag of ginger snaps...
...Chris's mouth starts drooling...)
You know what happened next. I polished off 9 of those ginger-flavored bastards, the last 4 of which were from sheer impulse alone.
STOP IT, FATTY! What are you doing?!?!?! (That was me, not my coworker. And no, I don't call myself "fatty," usually.)
I said 5, and I ate 9. What the hell is wrong with me?
But don't I deserve a little treat once in a while?
Yes, you do. "A." Singular. One.
Shove off, Tall Danny DeVito! Don't ruin it for the rest of us.
Hey, I'm trying to lose weight here!
Look at the damn nutrition facts! You only had 216 calories. You're going to be fine.
Really? Then how come I'm scared to death that I'm going to have to loosen my belt back to two notches?
...Um...that's just...macaroni gas. You'll be fine.
I literally had this conversation with myself. After Animal Control was done vetting me, I was allowed to return to my owners, where I was told to keep the ginger snaps as far as away as possible, for fear of reprisal from the Gods of Weight Loss.
*****
One other thing of note this week...
Normally, my day off from exercising is Saturday. This is because as of right now, it is my only day off, and I wish to keep it that way. Sunday is the day that I run my 2 miles before I punch in. But since I switched days for this weekend, I had Friday and Sunday off, and ended up working Saturday. It was hard enough coming in on Friday. But really, could I trek back to my employer on both of my days off?
Hell no! I switched my running to today, and will chance that my weight loss total every Sunday night is not solely dependent upon me running like a fool that same afternoon. Here's hoping...
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